I first experimented with tobacco as a kid. My mom and step-dad smoked at home all the time, so it felt like a natural thing. I hated it at the time, but as I got a bit older I discovered Indonesian clove cigarettes. My friends and I liked their smell and sweet taste and they became our "party cigarettes".
Over time I switched to regular cigarettes because they were cheaper. And by the time I was 16 I was smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.
“Looking back, I realize I was struggling with anxiety.
I didn't know it at time, but I knew when I smoked I felt better.”
On New Year’s Eve of 2013, my wife suggested we both quit smoking the next day. I was all for it, but it actually took me years to successfully quit.
I really wanted to quit but wasn't sure I was ready. A year later I had cut down a lot, but I still smoked occasionally when I felt stressed out. My mom's health had really started to suffer because of the habit and I wanted better for myself and my wife. But I still relied on cigarettes when I felt anxious.
“Understanding that I was using cigarettes to manage my anxiety
helped me to finally kick the habit years later.”
Over the next few years I really cut back and had periods of not smoking at all. I didn't want to smoke anymore and didn't want to use cigarettes to deal with stress. I started looking for help to quit and tried nicotine patches, gum and vaping.
Vaping ended up making my addiction worse because of how convenient and accessible it is compared to cigarettes.
Nicotine spray is what eventually helped me get through the cravings.
In early 2021 I finally became smoke and vapour free. I've been learning how to deal with my triggers (stress and anxiety) in other ways, and I've also found I can't stand to be around cigarette smoke.
My physical and emotional well being has really improved since quitting. But the thing I'm most proud of is taking this step so I'll be a positive example in my family. When I have kids some day, I don't want them to have a parent who is a smoker and give them the bad example that I had at home. That was the reason I was introduced to cigarettes in the first place.
It took almost eight years after I promised myself and my wife to quit, but it's finally happened. And I think this time I'm not going back.
About the author
Marcel lives in Nelson in the traditional territory of the Ktunaxa, the Syilx, and the Sinixt peoples. He is 37 and works as an IT project technician.
Are you ready to make a change?
Changing behaviour is an individual journey but the right support can make all the difference. Here are three ideas to help get you started:
- Get informed and find out about supports available to help you by checking out our Tobacco and Vaping resources.
- If reducing or quitting smoking or vaping is on your 2022 list, speak with your pharmacist about the BC Smoking Cessation Program.
- Share your journey to quit or reduce tobacco use or vaping and inspire others to achieve their goals. Email us to get started.
