Health & Wellness

How to talk about suicide, listen & connect people with help

September 8, 2023

Talking about suicide – starting the conversation, listening, providing support, and connecting people with help – can be difficult and even scary, but it’s important to help prevent suicide and end the stigma surrounding it. 

If you’re worried about someone, don’t be afraid to tell them; talking about suicide doesn’t make them more likely to do it, and they may be relieved to have someone who cares to talk to. 

If the individual tells you they have a plan to end their life, stay with them until you connect them with supports.

Tips for guiding the conversation

Choose a quiet place and a time when neither of you will feel rushed.

Demonstrate empathy: show you care. Focus on listening and acknowledging their feelings, and not trying to change their perspective.

Ask sensitive but direct questions, such as:

  • “How are you coping these days?”
  • “Do you ever feel like just giving up?”
  • “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”
  • “Have you thought about suicide?”
  • “Have you planned how you would do it?”

Support the individual to seek professional help.

Listening to the individual you are concerned about and connecting them to supports are the most important things you can do to help.

Let’s talk about language

  • "Failed attempt" can be heard as "I'm a failure. I can't even kill myself right."
  • "Committed suicide" can be heard as "I feel like a criminal. I'm a criminal if I die by suicide."
  • "Unsuccessful attempt" can be heard as "if I died, I'd be a success. Surviving means I'm unsuccessful."
  • Consider language such as "died by suicide" and “suicide attempt" instead.

Learn more about how to help someone if you’re concerned they are thinking about suicide

Who to call

  • To reach the Interior Health Mental Health and Substance Use centre nearest you, call 310-MHSU
  • For immediate help 24/7, call 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
  • If you or your friend is in crisis and not sure what to do, call 9-1-1 or go to the nearest emergency department

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