Seniors’ sexual health: Separating the myths from facts

February 14, 2024

Myths abound about seniors, sex and intimacy. Sexual health is individually defined and goes beyond the bedroom: if it leads to intimacy and enriches both parties, it’s wholesome.

It’s Valentine’s Day, and many older adults and seniors are enjoying sex just as much—and sometimes more—than younger people. But myths and misconceptions about sex and aging abound. These include:

Older adults are too old and frail to have sex
Older people don’t want to discuss their sexuality with professionals
Sex is unimportant or over and done with when a person is older
Sexual prowess and desire wane with age
Menopause is the death of a woman’s sexuality
Masturbation is an immature activity of young people. Older people don’t masturbate.
Hysterectomies cause a physical disability that results in the inability to function sexually

In this Story…

Fact: The most common sexual health issues are treatable

Fact: Healthy aging is about more than sex

We can expand our understanding and views

Fact: The most common sexual health issues are treatable

A comprehensive national survey of sexual attitudes, behaviours and problems among older adults in the U.S. showed that the most common reason for sexual inactivity among older adults wasn’t due to lack of desire or interest, but with the male partner’s health.

The most common age-related health issue men face is erectile dysfunction, or ED. Men experience ED for several reasons. These include bodily changes, medications and/or performance anxiety. The good news is men don’t have to accept this as a normal process of aging, and treatments are available. Talk to your doctor or nurse practitioner about your options.

For women, we know that the number one age-related physiological issue that affects sexual health is vaginal dryness, which is due to the lack of estrogen after menopause.

“At the very least, every post-menopausal woman should be using a vaginal moisturizer whether they are sexually active or not,” says Mary Kjorven, regional clinical nurse specialist, gerontology, and nurse continence advisor at Interior Health. “There are many brands available, and you don’t need a prescription. These products work to maintain an optimal environment that helps prevent discomfort caused by dryness and urinary tract infections.”

Women can also explore hormone replacement therapy, or HRT. According to Mary, there are many safe options for HRT that are backed by research. Talk to your doctor or nurse practitioner if HRT is right for you.

Fact: Healthy aging is about more than sex

When we think of sex, often we think of what goes on in the bedroom. But sexual health goes beyond just the act of sex: it’s a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being related to sexuality. Sexual health is individually defined and is wholesome if it leads to intimacy and enriches both parties.

The word “intimacy” is derived from a Greek word meaning “closest to.” But did you know that it also refers to the inner lining of blood vessels? This lining has several unique functions, including distributing hormones and blood flow to organs when we need it (you get the picture).

Older people may be concerned about sexual intimacy, but social relationships with people who are important in their lives can be just as important—and in many cases, more important—as the physical intimacy of direct sexual relations.

The ability to interact intellectually, emotionally, spiritually and/or humorously with people who share the same interests, and the supportive love that grows between people (whether romantic or platonic), are key to healthy aging.

Older people also often internalize the broad cultural attitudes of sexual behaviour in late life that hinder the continuance of sexual expression. Family dynamics, upbringing and cultural and religious beliefs all affect an individual’s attitudes towards intimacy and sexuality.

We can expand our understanding and views

As we age, one thing to remember is we all become even more different and more heterogeneous from one another. “A geriatrician once said to me, ‘Mary, if you’ve seen one 85-year-old, you’ve seen one 85-year-old.’ In other words, don’t assume one 85-year-old is the same as the next,” says Mary.

“We shouldn’t make assumptions about people,” she adds. “Get to know the person. Seek first to understand and build a relationship of trust, and then you will create a safe space for conversations—even those about sex.”

We are also learning more about all sexual lifestyles including lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer/questioning, asexual, Two Spirit and others – the 2SLGBTQIA+ communities. Knowledge based on research is growing about aging individuals in these communities.

However, cultural norms, invisibility, access and discrimination still hold us back. It’s important to remember that the older individuals in these communities are just as diverse as the heterosexual population, and the older adult population in general.