Three years ago, Kathleen Johnson dropped everything and moved from Calgary to Kelowna to take care of her aging parents.
She lost her mom last year and now focuses on caring for her 88-year-old dad, Don. It’s a full-time job, and an exhausting one at times for Kathleen.
“Well, I'm pretty lucky because my dad's very sweet,” she says. “But you need to be there. You can't just take off for a half hour walk because if you came home, there would be very real worries to where he had been. There’s little time for privacy and doing things for yourself, even picking up medications. You can't do it alone—even if you think you can.”
Leaning on Adult Day Services
Kathleen can take her dad to Apple Valley Adult Day Services (ADS) a couple days a week for some relief.
Kathleen calls the visits “Seniors’ Days” and allow her dad to get some much-needed social interaction.
“The staff welcomed Dad with open arms. He walks in and they all know his name. They really celebrate Dad every time he walks in the door,” she notes.
“The first couple drop-offs were a bit stressful for both Dad and I, as a change of routine is difficult. But thanks to the attentive support of the staff, it didn't take long for him to get comfortable despite his memory being a little bit challenging these days, and for me to truly relax.”
Through services like ADS, Interior Health (IH) understands the importance of providing caregivers the proper respite they need to carry on and avoid burnout.
“They’re overwhelmed, they're exhausted and they're just feeling lots of emotions,” says IH’s Adult Day Services coordinator Heather Degraaf. “This is where ADS comes into play, offering a service where their loved ones are cared for the day. They're getting a nice hot meal, and they're engaging with other seniors in the community.
The caregiver is given six hours to do what they need to do to recharge: social coffee chats with their friends that often get neglected, have a nap, or go the gym.”
Heather says ADS also provides other resources to families who need that extra boost of support in providing full-time care to a loved one.
“The activity workers and the nurses are available to support the caregiver by connecting them to other people and other families in the group to meet, collaborate and share their challenges with,” notes Heather. “They can connect the caregiver to support groups in the area.”
The break caregivers receive improves the relationships with their loved ones, Heather says, noting caring 24 hours a day can break down the connection over time.
Going back to school
For Kathleen, the visits have not only offered her with a break, but they have also allowed her to return to school to upgrade her skills.
She recently got away for a three-day, university-level physics course and lab at Okanagan College.
“The physics professors at the college were genuinely supportive. I had emailed each of them and said ‘I have this challenge where the class ends when my dad's seniors’ day ends. So, I'm going to have to leave early for class.’ The prof said he would make it work,” says Kathleen.
Similarly, the staff at Apple Valley Adult Day Services were equally supportive of her ambitions. Thanks to the accommodation of the staff at ADS, Kathleen didn’t have to miss any class time at all. Since the lab portion of her course started at 9:30 a.m., they also accommodated an earlier drop-off so Kathleen could get there on time in the morning.
To feel so supported was life-changing because what if taking that course allows me to finish my degree now? It was so inspirational and refreshing to do. The course is done now, but the effect of this team’s kindness remains and has really lifted me up. I’m so grateful.
But beyond the thrill of going back to school, Kathleen says with the free time, she’s been able to meet friends for lunch, run errands uninterrupted and just have fun by herself.
On the flip side, she’s noticed a big difference in her dad when he returns from a day at Apple Valley.
“It’s something he really looks forward to now. He expresses it on his own without me bringing it up,” she says. “They greet Dad and tell his own jokes back to him, so the relationships built there are authentic, and I couldn’t be more thankful.”
In the meantime, Kathleen hopes to take more courses and work towards the degree.
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