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Your sexual health matters, so let’s talk about it! How to know if you’re ready for sex  Individual sexual expression Talking to your partner Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) Safe sex and protection

Youth Sexual Health

Your sexual health is an important part of your overall physical, mental and emotional health — and it matters! Find out more about becoming sexually active, consent, STIs, safe sex and more.

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Your sexual health matters, so let’s talk about it!

Your sexual health matters, so let’s talk about it! Set yourself up for a lifetime of healthy sex and relationships by learning about how to have tough conversations, keep yourself safe, and make informed decisions. Here, you’ll find the answers to your important questions and discover resources to learn more about what matters to you.

How to know if you’re ready for sex 

The decision of when to engage in sexual activity is unique to each person and often shaped by social influences, including cultural and personal beliefs, as well as self-esteem.

Consider the following questions:  

  • Do I want to have sex for myself, or am I feeling pressure from others?  
  • Do I want to prevent pregnancy?  
  • Do I know how to prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs)?  
  • Do I fully understand what consent means?
  • What are my expectations about intercourse or other kinds of genital sex?  
  • Can I communicate honestly with a partner about my wants, needs and limits?  
  • Do I have the resources to address feelings of disappointment, confusion, anger or loneliness?  
  • Do I understand my own anatomy and my partner’s anatomy?  

If you’re unsure what your answers to these questions might be, take a pause and find out more.  

Is it normal to feel confused or anxious about sex?

First, know you’re not alone with these feelings. It’s normal to feel nervous about the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or pregnancy.  

Media messaging and societal pressure have taught many of us that sex is shameful or embarrassing. 2SLGBTQIA+ people often face even more stigma and discrimination about their sexuality than their cisgender, heterosexual allies: know that who you are, and who you choose to have sex with, are valid.  

Avoid searching for answers on the internet or social media. Incorrect and outdated information and idealized images and messages can worsen feelings of anxiety. If you’re suffering from feelings of embarrassment, overwhelm or anxiety, talk to someone you trust, like a counsellor, friend or health-care provider.   

SmartSex Resource: Sexual Health-Related Anxiety  

How to talk to someone if you think you’ve made a mistake or feel overwhelmed

Find a trusted adult. It doesn’t have to be a parent or guardian if that feels uncomfortable. Try teachers, a friend’s parents, aunts, uncles—anyone you trust to help you make a good decision.  

If you’re struggling to find a trusted adult, call 811 or a youth crisis line to speak to a knowledgeable professional.  

  • If you’re in immediate danger, feeling unsafe or have taken action to harm yourself, please call 911 
  • If you’ve been sexually assaulted, you can access sexual assault forensic exam services (SAFE) at any emergency department in the Interior region
  • Call the Options for Sexual Health SexSense line at: 1-800-739-7367 or send them an email Sex Sense - Options for Sexual Health
  • Call 811 to speak with a nurse or pharmacist   
  • Text CONNECT to 686868 to speak with a volunteer crisis responder with Kid’s Help Phone. Kids Help Phone texting service is free and available in English and French across Canada 24/7 when you want to let your feelings out without judgment. Your conversation with a volunteer crisis responder is confidential, and services are available 24/7.    
  • Call the KUU-US Aboriginal crisis line: 1-800-588-8717 (24 hours)   
  • Call or text 988 if you’re having suicidal thoughts. Available 24/7. 
  • Call 310-6789 (no area code needed) to access BC Mental Health & Crisis Response. Available 24/7. 
I have a physical disability. Will sex be different for me?

People with disabilities can and do have rewarding and fulfilling sex lives. There are many adaptations that can make sex accessible, fun and empowering, no matter what kind of limitations you might be facing.  

Individual sexual expression

Sexuality can be expressed in so many ways. When you’re young you may still be exploring who you are, your preferences and your identity. It’s normal to feel conflicted, and maybe even sad, ashamed or confused. In the long term, it’s important for your mental and emotional well-being to be comfortable with who you are.

I’m not cisgender/heterosexual, but I haven’t told my parents, friends or family. Where can I get support? 

You’re not alone. It’s normal to worry about confiding in people about your sexuality. Making connections with inclusive support groups for 2SLGBTQIA+ folks that offer counselling services, support and advice can be a great first step in learning more about your sexuality.  

Talking to your partner

It’s normal for conversations with your partner to feel a bit awkward sometimes. Talking about things that are uncomfortable takes practice. That’s why it’s important to be with someone who communicates in a kind and respectful way, and who helps you feel safe to be yourself. 

SmartSex Resource: Talking to Your Partners

What to do if your partner wants to do something you’re not comfortable with 

Clarify boundaries ahead of time, ideally when both partners are calm and open to having a conversation. Understand consent as an ongoing process that can be revoked at any time. Consent should be enthusiastic, freely given, and based on mutual respect and equal power.  

How to talk to your partner about using protection without making it awkward 

Clarify boundaries around sexual health and safety before intimacy happens, so that you aren’t caught up in a heated moment without a plan, and don’t rely on others when it comes to protecting yourself.

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)

You can make sure that you’re having safer sex by being informed about how sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are passed and how to prevent them. You can get tested before intimacy or anytime symptoms are present, get vaccinated for preventable infections such as HPV and hepatitis A and B, and use barrier protection such as condoms.   

Signs and symptoms of an STI, and how to recognize an STI 

It’s important to remember that many STIs show no symptoms, or they may be easy to miss, which is why regular testing is so important.  

Any changes such as abnormal vaginal discharge, discharge from the penis or rectum, burning with urination, lesions, rashes, bumps, and pain in the pelvis, testicles, or pain during sex should be promptly investigated. The only sure way to know if you have an STI is to visit a health-care provider. Some STIs can be diagnosed during a physical exam or visual inspection of the genital area, and some require blood, swab, or urine testing.  

SmartSex Resource: STIs at a glance  

Where to get tested for STIs and how often 

Getting tested every three to 12 months is a good general practice for sexually active people. For example, you may want to test every three or six months if you have new or casual partners, or if you have sex without condoms. Get tested any time you are concerned about symptoms, if you’ve experienced unwanted sexual contact (such as sexual assault), if your partner was recently diagnosed with an STI or asks you to be tested, or if you become pregnant. How often you get tested for STIs is personal and depends on your own circumstances. There is no set schedule you need to follow.  

If you want to be tested because of a recent sexual contact, we recommend testing at three weeks and three months following contact. This is because it takes time before an STI infection will show up on a test. This is called the “window period.”  

In Interior Health, physicians, nurse practitioners and registered nurses with certified practice can all test for sexually transmitted infections. You can visit a sexual health clinic, see your family doctor, or check out online options for testing.  

Safe sex and protection

There are many different types of birth control methods, all with differing levels of effectiveness, advantages and disadvantages. The method you choose will be dependent on your personal health goals, plans for future pregnancy, and comfort level.  

Speaking to a prescriber who is experienced in counselling on all the different methods is a great way to choose what’s best for you. You can also call 811 to speak with a nurse 24/7 or to a pharmacist, available from 5 p.m. to 9 a.m., for personalized advice.   

Sex & U: It's a Plan - Helping you make decisions about contraception

Free contraceptives available to B.C. residents

On April 1, 2023, the Province of B.C. began funding free contraceptives to all residents. PharmaCare pays for prescription contraceptives for B.C. residents, including IUDs, hormonal implants, contraceptive injections, emergency contraception and most prescription contraceptive pills.  

To get contraceptives for free, you need to be enrolled in the BC Medical Services Plan.  

What to do if a condom breaks

See a health-care provider for STI testing and consider using the emergency contraceptive pill if a condom broke and was not used in conjunction with another form of contraception (IUD, pill, patch, ring, etc.).  

If your partner has HIV, or there is a significant risk that they may, or the encounter was anonymous, consider accessing HIV Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP). PEP is effective at decreasing the risk of acquiring HIV if started within 24–72 hours of a high-risk sexual encounter, so see a health-care provider right away if you’re unsure.  

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